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  A Crows Prayer

Great Spirit, keep me from pettiness, let me leave off

with fault finding and self seeking. may I be true in

thought, word and deed . . .

Let me put away all pretense and meet others without

self pity and prejudice. May I never be hasty in judgment

and always generous . . .

Let me grow calm, serene and gentle. Teach me to put

into action my better impulses, straight forward

and unafraid . . .

May I always remember it is the little things

that create differences, and in the big things of

life, we are one . . .

May I strive to touch and to know the great

human heart of us all . . . And Great Spirit.

Let me not forget to be kind . . .

Open Letter to Liza Minnelli . . .

January 1999

Dear Liza,

Thinking back to the 1970's, do you remember Guymas, Mexico, the film " Lucky Lady"? My oldest childhood friend Jim Koehler was motoring some of the period yachts from upper Baja to the film location. I wanted to ride down but he said the trip too dangerous because of the whirlpools where the water from the Gulf of Mexico met the Pacific. I stayed home at Marina Del Rey for a few weeks until Jim made arrangements for me to catch a ride down on one of the company Lear jets. The flight left very early out of Van Nuys and knowing how coffee works on me, I made it from the Marina to the airport without my morning stimulant. Of course. We were late getting off the ground and the hanger crew was passing out coffee. I declined saying, I was flying. "Oh, but you can have all you want, there is a potty on board" someone volunteered. Three cups later we took off.

Just over the Mexican boarder my bladder was ready to get rid of some coffee. Feeling self conscious because I would have to call attention to my plight with my co-ed passengers I got up. I didn't have to go far, two steps. When I opened the door the lavatory the space was stacked full with luggage. One of the gentleman got up to help me clear it out when the copilot stuck his head in the cabin and said we could not move the luggage, something about weight distribution. Timidly I asked "what am I supposed to do?". He told me I'd have to wait. To the question of how much longer, he said 3 hours. Embarrassed I sat down while my bladder screamed "NEVER"! Another passenger with the same urge asked who's cases they were, someone said they were makeup cases belonging to Liza Minnelli. They had brought them to the airport, as if that made everything OK.

I did not know a soul on the plane, they were all strangers. Someone handed me a magazine to help divert my attention. After about 90 minutes my discomfort was painful. Knowing it was just a matter of hitting some air turbulence or a split second of relaxation before really embarrassing myself. I finally asked the pilot if there was anything to be done. He's answer, "pee in a cup". I looked at the small space and the faces of all those strangers and sat back down. It was one of those cry or laugh times, I could do neither. By now any movement or shift in my body was unbelievable, drops were escaping, tears were rolling down my checks. Finally a seemingly sympathetic passenger offered to hold up a black garbage bag, another offered an empty "coffee cup". I was desperate!

Liza, I know you have been in those corporate jets many times. They are open, especially the couch seating. Crouched up against the exit door, you could hear the sound throughout the cabin. It seemed to take forever, then becoming alarmed that the small cup would over flow, I pinched it off. On top of all that there was no lid for the coffee cup. At this point there was feeling no sympathy from my fellow passengers. Settling back in my seat and wanting to just disappear, I still had to relieve myself and we still had a hour to go.

Over the years that story was told many times as my most embarrassing moment. I've had people in tears laughing so hard. But always sobered the laughter with the remark that Liza Minnelli was self-centered and just not a nice person. Smug revenge for my humiliation. The other day at the market your picture was on the cover of one of those muck papers. Can't remember the caption, something about hardship or tragedy. There was still the smug satisfaction that your life was no easier that mine. A few days later while walking Tundra my mood was "Oh Poor Me" . Hoping people were thinking good thoughts about me and wishing me only the best. Your photo on the cover of that rag (where do they get those shots?) came to mind and I recalled all the times over the years I'd said negative remarks about you. It struck me that there was no reason to do, think and say what I had. You had nothing to do with my embarrassment, I do apologize and hope you can have a good laugh too.

Now for the real reason for this letter. I've never bought or read one of "those" papers. Liza, if there really is sadness and pain happening in your life, as the headline indicated. I wanted you to know I am thinking good thoughts about you and remembering you in my prayers. We all need all the positive input we can get.

Sincerely,

B Sharon Clifford

cc: JFK

Yes, it is good to clear ones conscience . . .